Why Men(Most) are Less Expressive

Disclaimer: Just to save some time and use less words, I will refer to “Most Men” as “Men” in this article. This article is part of a bigger picture. FRIENDSHIP!

Have you ever thought about why men often pretend to be a closed book? Or is it that they really are a closed book? It’s disturbing in either of the cases. Isn’t it? How would you know if your man (A brother, a dear friend, boyfriend, husband, or father) is not going through an emotional crisis? How do you ensure that they aren’t suffering within? How do you know that they aren’t breaking down? How do you know that they need help? At least, an emotional support?

Okay, let’s look at this situation positively. Shall we? When was the last time they expressed themselves openly? Did they really express or was it a mere discussion if not a statement? When was the last time you made something that made him feel special? When was the last time you tried to understand his emotional state of mind? When was the last time you spent time understanding his emotional journey? Well, you don’t have to answer me but these questions are rather important to introspect. I usually write unbiased articles but then, I felt a strong urge to write about the sacrifices and compromises that men usually go through and the WORLD fails to acknowledge them. OFTEN! Like every woman out there, every man in this world has feelings, emotions, and is bound to emotional breakdown.

I believe that the above statements triggered a spark in your mind and with your little effort, you might be able to contemplate and help your man. I don’t want to mention the problems that men usually face (Known to almost everyone) but I want to write a few questions (with a helping situation) that can help you make things better. These questions are for everyone who wishes to acknowledge:

• Do I need a paper and a pen to list down the things that my man is taking care of?

Tip: Are you aware of all his responsibilities and commitments in every vertical? Office, Family, Friends, business, etc.…

• When was the last time I did something nice for him that he really loved?

Tip: Do you know what his favorite dish is? How often did you feed him with your hands? (You don’t have to laugh at this question. It is serious!)

• When was the last time you spent time with him and asked him if there’s anything bothering him that he wants to share?

Tip: Men usually throw a hint when they need emotional support. You would see him yelling or trying to be alone when something isn’t going as he wished for.

• How often do you step forward to be part of his ups and downs in life?

Tip: Men usually are reserved and often want to keep it a secret if they aren’t doing good. But did you put an effort to make it easier for him?

• If you have found a crack in your relationship now, what are you going to do about it?

Tip: You need to be there for him.

Let’s end with a story. Shall we?:

After years of poverty and struggle, Mahesh finally got a job which paid him a decent salary. He wanted to transfer some money to his parents’ account every month but he had a difficult choice to make; Should he transfer the money or invest/spend to secure the family's future?. Based on his knowledge and research, he decided to spend 30% to his parents and 70% to secure the future. He even managed to get into a relationship with an ambitious neighborhood girl. Everyone was happy but for not so long.

With inflation kicking in and constantly evolving wishes and desires of material possessions, his parents’ and so-called girlfriend started nagging him for more money. He felt like he was caught but between a rock and a hard place. He decided to compromise his future and spent more money to satisfy his dependents’ urges. He knew that it isn’t wise to spend money without a valid reason so he thought to discuss it with his family but they swiftly refused to understand. Nor he had any luck with his girlfriend. With time passing by, his savings were about to get emptied. Every message of a financial transaction pushed him over the edge. He wanted to talk but he knew that none would understand. Nor did he have enough money to spend on himself. As unresolved vulnerabilities grew, his foundation of the belief system started to tremble. It wasn’t long enough that a strong wise-man succumbed to his emotional vulnerabilities that left him alone and defeated.