Small Things that are Often Overlooked in Relationships

I am not going to stress on the importance of relationships because it’s evident that we all are in a relationship. I mean, we all are connected to each other in one or the other way. Afterall, we are interdependent. Aren’t we?

If you’re in a relationship for a long time now, you must have realized that there’s always something missing or something that you or your partner need to work upon. It’s a different story who should or shouldn’t point it out or correct it. I am referring to the missing piece(s) in a relationship. If you spend some time on the web looking for Do’s and Don’ts in a relationship, there are tons of articles out there. Most of them are similar if not the same. My intention is not to repeat them but to point out those small things that fill in these missing pieces. These aren’t the perfect fit but it works. Works VERY WELL!

• Right Words: Well, we all know the importance of communication in a relationship. We do communicate with each other either via texts, calls, or emails but with just words that aren’t necessary. This often leads to people calling you “Talkative”. It’s not that people don’t want to listen, they are not interested in the topic or the way you’re communicating. We all use words (in different languages) to speak but how often do we use the right words? I mean, being kind, caring, and respectful?. There’s a difference between “I don’t like your dressing style” and “ T shirts and stretchable jeans really look good on you. Why don’t you try that?”. Think about it!

• Facial Expression: All of us are kind-of experts in recognizing facial expressions. At least, we could identify when a person is crying, angry, happy, or disgusted. We may be good at hiding our feelings but not so good at hiding our facial expressions. Express openly. If you like something, show it. For introverts, you don’t have to speak but just the right and honest facial expression will do just fine. And, do it often. Afterall, we cannot just continue talking, can we?

• Responsibility: I am not asking you to take more responsibilities or any responsibility of others. Not at all. I am asking you to be responsible for your thoughts and actions. That’s the least you could expect from yourself. Well, if you fail to or don’t own the responsibility then why should others bother to look after you? I mean, all are human beings. At some point, they get tired. When they reach the peak, they simply abandon. That’s all! If you don’t care about yourself, why would anyone have to?

• Boundaries: Well, I don’t have to explain this to introverts but to others, pay attention, this is important. There’s nothing called “OPEN BOOK” in relationships. It’s just a fake hype that I don’t know why people boost it. Most of the time, it shows insecurity in a relationship. Don’t misunderstand what I am referring to. There are certain things that you are not supposed to know, accept it! Why would you want to know the day-in and day-out activities of your family members? (Including wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/husband). Don’t push! If you think it’s necessary that they share it with you. Don’t forget #1 that you just read a while ago.

• Persistent: Be true to your words and feelings all the time. Unless you don’t care about yourself you cannot care about others. You can argue with your heart out but that’s the ground reality. The moment they do something that you don’t approve of, everything goes south. Sudden PANIC! Followed by misunderstanding. Some people don’t respect and appreciate you for being YOU (True to yourself) but that’s okay. People take time to sink in with the truth. Not everyone is good at accepting sudden change. Be persistent with yourself. Then, with the people you love. Things WILL change.

Let’s summarize with a short story:

Prem and Seema were in a long distance relationship for five years after their graduation. Prem was in Sales and Seema was a developer in an IT firm. During every month end, Prem was often on call with his clients so he couldn’t speak much with Seema. As a few more months passed, Seema became impatient and often worried about their relationship. One day, she couldn’t control herself and called her boyfriend during peak office hours. Prem disconnected her call. She tried again. He disconnected again. Annoyed, she messaged him “It’s over! I cannot do this anymore.” and she deleted his contact, blocked him, and switched off her phone for the next couple of hours. Once she came back to her senses, she turned on her phone and bursted out into tears when she saw his text message. He had replied “I know you’re angry, my love. I am sorry that I couldn’t speak to you properly these days and I accept my mistake. Here’s the ticket and I am leaving tonight. I cannot wait to meet you. Please call me back. Your number is switched off! I love you.”

It makes sense, right? He was not only persistent but actually owned the situation and used the right words although he was busy. We all are busy in our day to day life and that’s frustrating sometimes but with these small things, it really makes a difference.