Love: An Underrated and Abused Word!

This article, unlike my other articles, is not about knowledge or wisdom - it’s pure, intentional, and expressive. It’s 12:27 am IST when I wrote this article while listening to many all-time hit Bollywood songs. The lyrics, the singers, the rhythm, the depth - it’s truly magical even after 35 years of the song's release. What got me thinking was not the song but the magical moment that reignited in me, while such songs ignited a spark in my heart.

The intent is to speak more about love that’s mostly abused yet underrated for the power it holds! Be with me throughout this article like a honeybee stays with its queen. Let the spark reignite in you again, like the friction that ignites the match stick when rubbed on the rough surface of the matchbox.

There’s two parts to this article: Part-1: How do I define love and Part-2: How do I find love every day.

How do I define love? For me, it’s the source of motivation to do something good for myself and for others whom I hold close to my heart. I believe in doing than speaking about it. Now, some of our analytics and logical sides debate that words are essential - I don’t deny it. Not at all. I prefer expressing through actions rather than just speaking about it. For example, I would rather buy a bouquet and hand it over to the love of my life while drowning in shyness inside than just talking about it. Do you see my point? Good! But today, let me speak about it because... this is an article! Duh!!!

Even if it feels a little cliché - read one more time, if it’s filmy - stay with this, if it’s romantic - feel it, if it’s hopeless - trust it, if it’s dramatic - embrace it, if it’s over-the-moon feeling - live in it, if it’s funny - laugh at it, if it’s tingling - express it, if it’s irritating - be patient: I won’t judge you. Nobody should. Nobody will. This “love” is such a thing that… it throws out waste that we cling onto and cleanses our soul. It makes us complete.

Love is pure, like a white line drawn on white paper - it’s not visible. We need to trust it and embrace the experiences that it brings. Some would be bitter. Some would be better.

Love is intentional and open; it’s a genuine expression that’s put differently and creatively by great minds that we often fantasize about, while in reality it’s simple. Some people are good with their words. There are some people who are excellent actors. Some are whisperers who whisper themselves silently. People have become creative in expressing it, but the underlying motivation remains unchanged.

Love has always been continuous and expressive, like it was 3000 years ago, 300 years ago, 30 years ago, 3 years ago, 3 months or weeks or days ago, or even 3 minutes ago.

For lovers, they embrace those magical moments and often recreate them: holding hands, hugging each other, communicating through expressive eyes, appreciating the other, listening to empathize, those difficult yet honest conversations, those moments of finding love again after a “break-up” like fight, promising each other though some may fade away with time yet being hopeful and working towards it. For them, it’s two physical bodies yet inseparable, two hearts beating in rhythm for each other, thoughts running on repeat of the larger-than-life moments in each other’s minds, and spending time in each other's arms.

For family members, being true behind their back, supporting when the other is struggling, trusting when the world is against them, still living together when life becomes monotonous, irritating, and increasingly hopeless.

The roles separate us in how we operate and express our love because of social norms, moral obligations, and stigmas, but the true motivation remains the same: we value the other as we value ourselves with a pinch of kindness, empathy, genuineness, and a lot of patience. To be in love is to be in a world of chaos demanding to be stable, relaxed, valued, and importantly, happy.

How do I find love every day? Before I speak about this, I would like to clarify biased opinions; it’s not physical intimacy alone, yet it requires that. A hug for too many would be a taboo, but for others, it’s a genuine and one of the purest forms of expressive love and affection. Do you see my point?

I don’t aim to find love every day. I simply choose to live every day. A little laughter comes from my odd “can’t read the room” comments. A sense of belonging when I laugh with the people I care about. In those conversations that ignite freshness with a chuckle with random strangers who may or may not be good friends. I don’t expect - I simply be myself. Because I genuinely care for myself and the people I interact with, I express myself unapologetically. I express openly. I clarify whenever I have doubts. I step forward to protect and defend, as I do with my loved ones. I love being myself, though that raises doubts in many. But hey, who made them the judge of our lives and how we choose to live? If they care, they will clarify and value else life anyway offers different paths infinitely to all.

It’s a sensitive and debatable subject because for many of us, its emotions, experiences, trauma, larger-than-life moments are worth recalling, treasuring, and equally scary. Like others, I have had all these experiences at very different stages of my life. Some were bitter. Rest were better. I am 30+ years old. Although I have experienced numerous incidents throughout my life, my hope in love grew only stronger with time. And I am happy about it.

Don’t hesitate: Without experiencing loving yourself, you cannot create experiences for others. Don’t belittle or neglect the idea of “You”; it’s okay if others hate that you exist. Someone hates them for their existence; we just haven’t met them yet. So stop worrying. Start loving. Love yourself unapologetically and genuinely to learn to love others. That’s the best way to see the true meaning of love, cutting through all the fantasies that great minds have been writing and presenting for ages for us and for generations to come. The add-ons were never the love itself, those were simply a means of expressing it. Don’t talk yourself into buying stuff that you don’t need for the kick; sit and embrace your shadow side, believe, heal, and repeat because... you matter.

If this article has moved you or is worthy of your time, please like and share it with your loved ones. If not a love letter, this article still does the work to express. I will see you in my next article. Thank you for your time and take care!